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| The process of dehumanization must begin quickly or youll never last. At least you start at the bottom as to better encourage forward thinking. The rules are simple right outta the 6th grade school yard; somebody is master, the master makes the rules, losers can quit at anytime.
Your masters have only one mission to fulfill for his or her master, The Food Cost (Note the Capitalization of Importance). Despite this mission they have no interest at all in food, it being merely a means to an end. The important word here is the ubiquitous suffix of bean counters everywhere Cost. Costs most notable achievement in the recorded annals of humanity is as the humble and pervasive enemy of profit. As it stands much of the cost of food has been dealt with long a go, just ask a farmer, you however are the last frontier.
We should take a moment to be honest with you. You havent got a chance. A thousand years of managerial textbooks demand your destruction, from the Ancient Mayan blood rituals for the non-believers to Neutron Jack Welchs global rationalization and Maggie Thatchers There Is No Alternative, the story is the same. But that shouldnt prevent you having a little fun for $5.15 an hour, I mean really what else were ya gonna do drink?
The first thing your gonna need to dehumanize your master is the slogan. All good systems that are still around have slogans because all systems that are still around are still trying to get rid of costs.
All slogans also follow from simple precepts of the universe. The most important is If youre not better than somebody else, who are you better than? Note that the logic here is both circular and pointless, that is important. A slogan that is enlightened by this belief says Hey! If Im willing to fight mindlessly for this, imagine what Ill do if I ever care? This is your gateway to dehumanization.
Slogans are Emotionally Potent Oversimplifications of the truth. Think of them as truth that doesn't need any evidence, they're self-evident!
The tone of slogans is always fiery, consider "Wasting Company Time will be Considered Stealing" or "Time to Lean Time to Clean" it borrows the rhetoric of the bible but leave the point behind. Remember not to use the icons of class warfare, unless you relish the idea of identifying your loved ones down at the rendering plant. Union organizing is not what your up to here. The closest thing to what your doing in the syntax of Marxism is work to rule.
The best slogans are shameless samples lifted from the techno-babble of managerial prophets and downsizing gurus turned on their ass.
How about "Wasting Employee Time will be compensated through Stealing"? Slogans can be found everywhere but the best ones are derived from the language of your master, cause that way theyll understand you.
A quick aside. It is important to remember that for the most part your master can hear you, but not understand you. If you dont get this, try doing a word association game with the master. Start with Living Wage and if the answer is Welfare? you have game on your hands. Try other words (Working poor, Industrial Disease) to demonstrate a similar lack of comprehension and reassure yourself that your master isnt stupid he just doesnt speak your language. Note the questioning tone of their responses as you venture into unknown verbal territory.
Slogans also help you to focus albeit on an endless and self-destructive goal...but focus nonetheless. Start with simple slogans, like a phrase your master repeats as he digs the carrot tops from the dumpster with salad greens on his mind "What Doing? Still OK". Or maybe its a chapter title lifted from the Assistant Mangers Hotel/Restaurant textbook. Planning, Leadership, Organization and Control. Or maybe even read the business section of the newspaper Necessary Downturn.
Now use them. Make the slogan your mantra. Murmur it all day; try it out as a child would any new word. Make sure the inflection is cheerful and attentive, almost helpful. Q: Why is this lunch so damn slow, one of you has to go home now A: Necessary downturn? When the memo is issued condemning your actions and forbidding the uttering of the slogan, pillage the memo. It is incumbent on users to self regulate or otherwise restrict the amount of verbal gaiety used in the performance of their assigned tasks...
There dont ya feel better? At least now youre playing the losing game rather than just losing at it.
"If You Dont Like It, Quit."
Petty Tyrant
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